Sunday, May 10, 2009



Everytime I travel by road via Bandra in Mumbai, a beautiful statue of a mother figure rocking her child on folded legs never ceases to make me thoughtful for a moment as I read the message that it carries :

A mother is born the moment her child is born.

Mother’s Day falls today - on 10th May, 2009.

I am usually against “Day”s being allocated once a year to remember someone or something special, as it lends a measure of formality to something, which otherwise should be spontaneous, boundless and straight from the heart. In some way, it also sanctions tokenism for things profound. Nevertheless, over the years, I have started seeing the plus points of such celebrations also – especially days like Mother’s Day, Friendship Day etc.. ( hey, when is Father’s Day celebrated ?? ). At least, it encourages one to express the unspoken words for the dear ones on that particular day. Otherwise, with increasingly fast pace of life these days, many well meaning emotions never get expressed. Let us remember : even the best of bonds grow stronger with occasional explicit re-affirmation !!

I am particularly fond of Mother’s Day. Gives me an occasion to re-connect with my mother and my children, who made me a mother.

[ NOTE BEFORE I PROCEED : She invariably includes he ; so I take the liberty of referring an entity who possibly can be of any gender as a “she” - like a child and God, the almighty !! And of course, I take ‘mother’ as representing both mother and father, none less than the other !!! ]

Now, let me first share my treasure !

Well, so..o. sweet, nah ?? That’s a magnet couriered by my daughter recently – thanks, baby !!

This one was hand-drawn by my daughter when she was a little kid and presented to me on that year’s Mother’s Day. So, cute !! In the middle portion of the card, she draws a cat and writes, “ I L U”, this is a sweet cat card for you from your kitten ” . If, by chance she visits my blog and sees this, she would be so surprised …(and scandalised, ha, ha, sorry kiddo !) Yes, darlings, I have preserved many more of your presents…. they are so precious to me !!

Again hand-drawn and self-composed verse by my sweetie pie, when she was a kiddo. Every time I used to go outstation on unavoidable official tours, coming back home used to be a lovely and hugely cherishable experience.

And this one !! The locket – a monkey-god(who I worship) – was gifted by my daughters on one Mother’s Day . So..o thoughtful of them ! They knew, I am an ardent fan of Lord Hanumanji and was always wearing a silver locket on a gold chain, although it was not going with that at all. So , they gifted this gold locket – which I have been wearing EVER SINCE, and wish to wear it for ever ! I love you, buddies! God bless you !

Well, those are some of the tangible ones. There can be no count or display of the intangibles that I have got as a mother – I have grown fuller as a person after becoming a mother and growing simultaneously with my children.

I do not know, whether I have been able to give as much to my mother or not. I definitely owe her everything – all that I am today. I always know … she is there for me, whenever I need her – no strings attached. She is the most wonderful woman in my life . I love you, Mom.

The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks.

Carrie Latet

Mother, oh.. Mother …. !!!!!!!!

M for Magnanimity

O for Omni-presence

T for Teacher

H for Holiness

E for Eternity

R for Re-Creation

Mother is Magnanimity personified.

Full of unconditional love, blessings and best wishes for her child, irrespective of whether they deserve it, whether they reciprocate it or not.

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

Tenneva Jordan

That is example of only a trivial sacrifice. She is ever ready to become a martyr on the altar of her child – ever ready to pardon even the bitterest act or gravest mistake by her child – even behind a façade of a ruthless mother who lets her child fall only to learn how to walk, there is a mother’s heart which would do any sacrifice needed to protect her child and see her child stand on her feet and take the bully, that is this world, by its horns. Mother’s love is unconditional ultimately. Blessed are the children who develop the wisdom and sensitivity to understand it .

“ The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ”

Honoré de Balzac

Mother is Omni-present for her child.

Call out for your mother with your heart and soul and there she will be – in life, in death, whether you see her or not. She is always available to you – no conditions attached !

Washington Irving once said,

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”

How true !!

Mother is child’s first and the best Teacher.

“That best academy, a mother's knee.” - so told James Russell Lowell

I still remember the kitchen of our old house at my home town, where, as a child, I used to sit on a “pidha” ( a slightly raised wooden platform on which one sits on the floor without touching the ground) and used to do my lessons taking help from my mother as she would cook the dinner and at other times, I would just sit there and sing to my mother. Heaven on earth, I tell you.

It is a truism that a mother is the first and the best teacher of a person and needs no elaboration.

Mother is Holiness.

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.

A Jewish Proverb

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. Appreciation of this simple truth is equivalent to praying the Almighty. After all, she is our Creator in this physical world that we see, feel and perceive. She is the God for her child in that sense.

Is there any difference between the trust we feel towards God and the trust that a child displays in completely surrendering itself to her mother during infancy when it is absolutely helpless and dependent on others for every single thing ? Growing up, as you serve your mother with true understanding and love, God shall not ask any further.

Mother is Eternity for her child.

So long as you exist, your mother exists, too, through you, in you, irrespective of the fact whether or not she is alive physically. Can any child ever obliterate this existential presence of her mother ?

Perhaps, that’s why it is said that one of the greatest legacies that a human being can leave behind is a child and one of the greatest service to mankind lies in raising a child in a worthy manner .

“My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.” Graycie Harmon

Mother is Re-Creation.

Mother re-creates and perpetuates life . Kahlil Gibran once said, “Your children are not your sons and daughters: they are life’s longing for itself.” True. But life chooses a mother’s womb to re-create itself !!

[That was my Ode to Mother. Actually, I wanted to write a poem, but alas- that is not to be -so prosaic I am !! Friends, if you have composed some, please share.]

My dear friend Veera had once shared with me a touching story on Mother, which I feel like sharing with all on the occasion of Mother’s Day – in honour of all mothers on this planet.

The story goes like this …. The narrator uses the first person to narrate the story.

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me !!!

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school, one of my classmates said, “ EEEE, your mom only has one eye ! ”

I wanted to bury myself.

I also wanted my mom to just disappear.

So I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?!!!"

My mom did not respond...

I didnt even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger.

I was oblivious to her feelings.

I wanted her out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard, got a chance to go to the city to study.

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own.
I had kids of my own.

I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts .

Then one day, my mother came to visit me.

She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited.

I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!"

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in the city.

So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.

After the reunion in my village school, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbours said that she died.

I did not shed a single tear.

They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have. It said…

“ I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house in the city and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.

I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.

You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.

So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With my love to you,

Your Mother

The story ends there and it is left to the imagination of the readers as to whether after knowing the facts, at least a drop of tear came to the eyes of the wretched son or not !!

No painter's brush, nor poet's pen
In justice to her fame
Has ever reached half high enough
To write a mother's name.
~Author Unknown

MOTHER is the most splendid experience in life ! Thank you, Bou, for always being there for me – for making me all that I am today.



Rajeswari said...

Happy mother's day!what a post!...I dont know if you have read Swami Vivekananda's works.In his book "Our women" he talks in depth about the mothers and future mothers of India.I guess its a must-read for every Indian.Pranams at the Holy Feet of All Mothers on this earth and to the Mother of ALL- Divine Mother Herself.

sambit said...

Mother is the source of your being- May be only God can challenge it [if he is there].

snigdha said...

Hi, Raji! No, I am yet to read that one - I will find it out and read.

Hey Sambit ... what is this ? Freudian slip ? You apparently still carry the gender bias when it comes to GOD , ha, ha ! Well, that was in a lighter vein - nobody knows how the Supreme Power looks like ; so let us have liberty with our imagination.
And don't get peeved - I have already said - mother and father are actually one and the same - none lesser than the other.

U r right - parents are the source of our being - equivalent to god for us on this earth.

Sneha said...

it's LOVELY to see that poem (especially). i think that one was when you had gone to hyderabad for a week :D
happy mommy's day again :D

snigdha said...

Hi baby!! luv u n god bless !!

Anonymous said...

How can God challenge Her/His own creations. No offence to anybody.

"Our Women" by Vivekananda is a great book. Completely agree with Rajeshwari..definitely every woman in the earth should read.

I am so thankful to God for my mother..we've laughed, cried, disagreed, made up, and learned to appreciate each other even more.
We've shopped, cooked, watched movies and sometimes just done notheing at all. Through it all, one of the sweetest gifts in my life is having a mom who is also a great friend. That makes her a double blessing. Her love has given me great joy and encouragement. I am not forgetting the all the Dad's. We do celebrate Father's day on the 3rd Sunday in June.
Snigdha, it was a great post honoring Mom's all around. And all the poems your kids have written...awesome.

Thanks, your blog friend.

snigdha said...

Hi Blog Friend, thanks for reminding me - yeah.. 3rd Sunday in June is the Father's Day. Sorry, somehow that day is not so unfailingly observed - I am the culprit, I must accept. Okay ... now onwards... I will ensure that. Let me admit ... it is my hubby who helps my children buy the Mother's day gifts without my knowledge .. I have been failing in reciprocating . Sorry S.

Yes, " Our Women" is now on my list of 'to read'. Actually, I am very inspired by Swami Vivekananda's words - especially, I recollect, he is the one who very clearly said once that one must not follow or abide by anything just because the wiser men or elders or the religious scriptures or others are saying so; one should however learn to think about it on one's own, reflect on it and follow it only if one finds it worthy and is able to see the reason/good in it !
Actually, all truly wise men have always advocated " thinking on your own" . Well, that was a bit of digression from the theme of the blog post.
Hey, I can see the beautiful relation that you share with your mother !! I just feel like making " ditto, ditto" ! A daughter's privilege perhaps - being an extension of her own gender!!

Deba said...

It is said, a child who loves his/her mother from the core of his/her heart, always leads a happy, successful, prosperous and peaceful life. I don't have any doubt in that. I don’t believe whether anyone can actually hate his/her mother! A mother is always great for her unconditional love and that is why the maxim goes “Mother and Motherland are superior to heaven”.


Anonymous said...


I do have friends who think their mother hates them. She has not been talking to her mother for a long long time. I keep telling her forget the misunderstanding. Patch it up before it is too late and you will regret for the rest of your life. She has tried several times but her mother shut her off. What do you say to that?????

Blog friend.

snigdha said...

I am all with what Deba says - seen lots of examples in my own life.The kind of love for mother he is talking about has no room for 'any perception about perception of mother about you'. It is not like " I think my mother loves me - so I love her". Actually, the catch in the case our blog friend cites lies there - her/his friend "thinks" her mother hates her and she has not been talking to her mother for a long time.

Well, children, howsoever grown up they may be, until they themselves become parents, sometimes misinterpret mother's disapprovals of certain deeds/attitudes of theirs as her hatred !! Such negative presumptions very often break the communication channels and lead to such unwarranted situations like the one our blog friend cites. I believe, it is a rarity when a mother can truly hate her child and unfortunately if she does, that kind of a situation would involve numerous complex human issues concerning the human traits of both the child and the mother AND the circumstances/ turn of events which at times can not be circumvented by human frailities. These can obviously not be generalised.

Deba said...

Dear Anonymus:

You have raised a good point and Snigdha clarified it perfectly. I am completely agreed with her.

Well, there are some mothers the children of whom consider them as disgusting mothers. Here, the children consider them as “disgusting”, but they might not be so in reality. They may be as “loving” as other mothers. As Snigndha said, unless and until the children become parents, they may not be able to understand their mothers truly.

Why does a child think that his/her mother hates him/her? Is it because of her strictness(meant for the goodness of her child)? Is it because of her sticking to principles (intended towards the betterment of the child)? Is it because she wants her child to stand out among other children? Is it because she wants her child become a good person? Is it because she wants her child to proceed on the right path? Is it because she wants her child to see at the helm of success? Is it because she wants her child become bright and prosperous? Is it because she shows her anger as the child does not listen her? …..If the mother shows any disgusting behavior, then it is for our betterment. It is up to us how to perceive it. If taken positively, then the bond between mother and child would be stronger and if taken negatively, the bond becomes weaker. There may be a possibility, though rarely, that due to one reason or other, some misunderstandings, misconceptions, communication gaps creep in affecting the bondage between mother and child. In that case the gaps need to be identified and removed. You would like to ask your friend as to whether she has ever tried to understand the feelings of her mother. Has she ever tried to know what does her mother want? What is cause of her annoyance?

Moreover, everything has an exception. We can’t avoid exceptional cases, which are rarest of rare in case of mother-child relationship. The child is really unfortunate if his/her mother does not love her. However, our views should be based on 99.9999% and not on 0.0001%.