MOTHER ...Oh.. ...MOTHER

MOTHER, Oh.. MOTHER !!

Everytime I travel by road via Bandra in Mumbai, a beautiful statue of a mother figure rocking her child on folded legs never ceases to make me thoughtful for a moment as I read the message that it carries :

A mother is born the moment her child is born.

Mother’s Day falls today - on 10^th May, 2009.

I am usually against “Day”s being allocated once a year to remember someone or something special, as it lends a measure of formality to something, which otherwise should be spontaneous, boundless and straight from the heart. In some way, it also sanctions tokenism for things profound. Nevertheless, over the years, I have started seeing the plus points of such celebrations also – especially days like Mother’s Day, Friendship Day etc.. ( hey, when is Father’s Day celebrated ?? ). At least, it encourages one to express the unspoken words for the dear ones on that particular day. Otherwise, with increasingly fast pace of life these days, many well meaning emotions never get expressed. Let us remember : even the best of bonds grow stronger with occasional explicit re-affirmation !!

I am particularly fond of Mother’s Day. Gives me an occasion to re-connect with my mother and my children, who made me a mother.

[ NOTE BEFORE I PROCEED : She invariably includes he ; so I take the liberty of referring an entity who possibly can be of any gender as a “she” - like a child and God, the almighty !! And of course, I take ‘mother’ as representing both mother and father, none less than the other !!! ]

Now, let me first share my treasure !

Well, so..o. sweet, nah ?? That’s a magnet couriered by my daughter recently – thanks, baby !!

This one was hand-drawn by my daughter when she was a little kid and presented to me on that year’s Mother’s Day. So, cute !! In the middle portion of the card, she draws a cat and writes, “ I L U”, this is a sweet cat card for you from your kitten ” . If, by chance she visits my blog and sees this, she would be so surprised …(and scandalised, ha, ha, sorry kiddo !) Yes, darlings, I have preserved many more of your presents…. they are so precious to me !!

Again hand-drawn and self-composed verse by my sweetie pie, when she was a kiddo. Every time I used to go outstation on unavoidable official tours, coming back home used to be a lovely and hugely cherishable experience.

And this one !! The locket – a monkey-god(who I worship) – was gifted by my daughters on one Mother’s Day . So..o thoughtful of them ! They knew, I am an ardent fan of Lord Hanumanji and was always wearing a silver locket on a gold chain, although it was not going with that at all. So , they gifted this gold locket – which I have been wearing EVER SINCE, and wish to wear it for ever ! I love you, buddies! God bless you !

Well, those are some of the tangible ones. There can be no count or display of the intangibles that I have got as a mother – I have grown fuller as a person after becoming a mother and growing simultaneously with my children.

I do not know, whether I have been able to give as much to my mother or not. I definitely owe her everything – all that I am today. I always know … she is there for me, whenever I need her – no strings attached. She is the most wonderful woman in my life . I love you, Mom.

The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks.

Carrie Latet

Mother, oh.. Mother …. !!!!!!!!

M for Magnanimity

O for Omni-presence

T for Teacher

H for Holiness

E for Eternity

R for Re-Creation

Mother is Magnanimity personified.

Full of unconditional love, blessings and best wishes for her child, irrespective of whether they deserve it, whether they reciprocate it or not.

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

Tenneva Jordan

That is example of only a trivial sacrifice. She is ever ready to become a martyr on the altar of her child – ever ready to pardon even the bitterest act or gravest mistake by her child – even behind a façade of a ruthless mother who lets her child fall only to learn how to walk, there is a mother’s heart which would do any sacrifice needed to protect her child and see her child stand on her feet and take the bully, that is this world, by its horns. Mother’s love is unconditional ultimately. Blessed are the children who develop the wisdom and sensitivity to understand it .

“ The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ”

Honoré de Balzac

Mother is Omni-present for her child.

Call out for your mother with your heart and soul and there she will be – in life, in death, whether you see her or not. She is always available to you – no conditions attached !

Washington Irving once said,

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”

How true !!

Mother is child’s first and the best Teacher.

“That best academy, a mother's knee.” - so told James Russell Lowell

I still remember the kitchen of our old house at my home town, where, as a child, I used to sit on a “pidha” ( a slightly raised wooden platform on which one sits on the floor without touching the ground) and used to do my lessons taking help from my mother as she would cook the dinner and at other times, I would just sit there and sing to my mother. Heaven on earth, I tell you.

It is a truism that a mother is the first and the best teacher of a person and needs no elaboration.

Mother is Holiness.

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.

A Jewish Proverb

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. Appreciation of this simple truth is equivalent to praying the Almighty. After all, she is our Creator in this physical world that we see, feel and perceive. She is the God for her child in that sense.

Is there any difference between the trust we feel towards God and the trust that a child displays in completely surrendering itself to her mother during infancy when it is absolutely helpless and dependent on others for every single thing ? Growing up, as you serve your mother with true understanding and love, God shall not ask any further.

Mother is Eternity for her child.

So long as you exist, your mother exists, too, through you, in you, irrespective of the fact whether or not she is alive physically. Can any child ever obliterate this existential presence of her mother ?

Perhaps, that’s why it is said that one of the greatest legacies that a human being can leave behind is a child and one of the greatest service to mankind lies in raising a child in a worthy manner .

“My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.” Graycie Harmon

Mother is Re-Creation.

Mother re-creates and perpetuates life . Kahlil Gibran once said, “Your children are not your sons and daughters: they are life’s longing for itself.” True. But life chooses a mother’s womb to re-create itself !!

[That was my Ode to Mother. Actually, I wanted to write a poem, but alas- that is not to be -so prosaic I am !! Friends, if you have composed some, please share.]

My dear friend Veera had once shared with me a touching story on Mother, which I feel like sharing with all on the occasion of Mother’s Day – in honour of all mothers on this planet.

The story goes like this …. The narrator uses the first person to narrate the story.

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me !!!

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school, one of my classmates said, “ EEEE, your mom only has one eye ! ”

I wanted to bury myself.

I also wanted my mom to just disappear.

So I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?!!!"

My mom did not respond...

I didnt even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger.

I was oblivious to her feelings.

I wanted her out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard, got a chance to go to the city to study.

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own.
I had kids of my own.

I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts .

Then one day, my mother came to visit me.

She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited.

I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!"
GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in the city.

So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.

After the reunion in my village school, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbours said that she died.

I did not shed a single tear.

They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have. It said…

“ I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house in the city and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.

I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.

You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.

So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With my love to you,

Your Mother ”

The story ends there and it is left to the imagination of the readers as to whether after knowing the facts, at least a drop of tear came to the eyes of the wretched son or not !!

No painter's brush, nor poet's pen
In justice to her fame
Has ever reached half high enough
To write a mother's name.
~Author Unknown

MOTHER is the most splendid experience in life ! Thank you, Bou, for always being there for me – for making me all that I am today.

AND HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL MOMs !!

PAUSE AND PONDER : WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE AT ALL ????

Pause And Ponder sl 5 : Why bad things happen to good people at all ??

Quite a number of times in my life, I have run into this question… why at all bad things happen to good people ? When something unexpectedly adverse happens to me at a personal level also, I look up in total bewilderment and ask “ God, Why me ??”

But the anguish was perhaps at its peak, when my brother passed away a few months back at an age of just 55 and thinking of what has happened to my sister-in-law ( an adorable sister, not just in law !), and my niece ( can not be a better ‘daughter’ than her for any parents in the whole world !), I agitatedly asked God 'why' ????

To my question, I got an insight like never before .... 1stly, the question " Why bad things happen to good people?" is a wrong question ab initio. Nowhere it is said/written/suggested that bad things will never happen to u if u r good - EACH human has to have a piece of both, good as well as bad, to grow and experience life as a complete whole. There is not a single adult on this planet who has not fallen at least once before learning how to stand and walk erect. It is all in the process of natural growth and so are the ‘bad’ things; only difference being– if you are ‘good’, God invariably blesses you with everything needed to come out of it better and not get battered. So, the real test of if you are truly good or not is testified by the fact asto whether a bad experience leaves you better or bitter & battered.

So, the correct question is : What do good people do when bad things happen to them ? And the answer to this, as I pose this question in relation to my sis-in-law and a whole lot of other good people, who have apparently been meted out injustice or unfair treatment in life, that I know about, is very very convincing : They do everything to emerge out of this as a stronger and still better ( not bitter) person, develop still greater sensitivity to others' hurt n suffering, show still greater willingness n ability to help others ! They seem to tread their path with unwavering trust in the divine dispensation, taking each adversity as an opportunity to grow further; eventually, they do not allow themselves to be crushed – they bounce back with greater courage, love and agility.

And on the day of their reckoning, the good people walk away from this stage full of honour, legitimate pride and fulfilment !!!

I was so touched! My sis-in-law was amongst the first ones to wish me on my wedding anniversary and sent us a wonderful e-card to share our happiness, notwithstanding the fact that, she herself was in an emotional turmoil - by then, not much time had elapsed after Bro left us ! Needless to mention, this is not just one instance of what she did that led me to include her in the category of ‘good’ people. I know her for about three decades and by any standard, she is a wonderful and gold-hearted person. Hence, I took her as example. She is now settling down with engaging assignments, her daughter is already in a pretty good job – and she has all of the extended family by her side - basically, she might not have got all that she wanted, but God has blessed her with everything that she needs and I am sure, in time, she will look back to see the divine design in everything along the way.

There are many such examples in history, in and around us. Just look around and you will never ever let any inappropriate questions like the first one above bother you or affect you any longer.

And I highly recommend reading of works by Robert H. Schuller, the celebrated author of “ Tough Times Never Last; but Tough People Do”. I find his elucidations very lucid and candid when it comes to building perspectives on life issues, which any one can identify with. It helps re-assure you if you already believe in the power of positive thinking; it clarifies and brings back the perspectives, if you are a bit confused, as of now.

Here, I am reminded of an insightful story regarding how we may not always have a clear and correct view of all the things happening. Let me share.

THE DIVINE DESIGN

When I was small, my mother used to sew a great deal . I would sit at her knee and look up from the floor and ask what she was doing. She told me that she was embroidering .

As from the underside I watched her work within the boundaries of the little hoop that she held in her hand, I complained to her that it sure looked messy from where I sat. She’d smile at me, look down and gently say, “ Son, you go about your playing and when I am finished with my embroidering, I will put you on my knee and let you see it from my side .”

I would wonder why she was using some dark threads along with the bright ones and why they seemed so jumbled from my view.

After sometime I would hear my mother’s voice say,” Son, come sit on my knee.” This I did only to be surprised and thrilled to see a beautiful flower or sunset. I could not believe it , because from underneath it looked so messy.

Then mother would say, “ my son , from underneath it did look messy and jumbled, but you did not realize that there was a plan on the top. It was a design. I was only following it .. Now look at it from my side and you will see what I was doing . “

Many times through the years, I have looked upto heaven and said, “ father, what are you doing ? “. He has answered, “ I am embroidering your life . “ I say, “ But it looks like such a mess to me. It seems so jumbled. The threads seem so dark. Why can’t they all be bright ?” The Father seems to tell me, “ My child, you go about doing your business of doing my business, and one day I will bring you to Heaven and put you on my knee and you will see the plan from my side . “

- Author Unknown

Worth reflecting, do n’t you think so ?????

Award , Reward and Complete Disaster

AWARDS, REWARD AND COMPLETE DISASTER

Awards:

Very plainly put, awards are recognition under reward schemes.

It is commonly believed in the corporate world that whatever you reward, you get more of that and so, usually corporates implement various reward and recognition schemes, to encourage high performance in desired business parameters and award a selected few to send out a positive message.

My intention here is not at all to argue out a case in favour of or against this idea ; nor to judge the merits of the modalities/tools commonly used under these reward schemes to select the “ Best of the Pack ” / Best Performers as against the others who do not get selected despite playing as well or even much better.

[Honestly, if I am asked to take a view, I would rather be in favour of the idea of at least having some reward schemes and giving public recognition to some, and keep on streamlining the schemes based on actual experience, rather than not recognising anyone out of the fear that the scheme is not full-proof to pick up the real best. Actually what matters and can serve the real purpose behind these awards is that everyone should appreciate that these awards are more symbolic in nature and meant to send out a positive message that your organisation is committed to high performance and your contribution is getting noticed at the higher levels.

So, rock on … !

It boomerangs the moment it is claimed that the award winners are the best ones and all others are non- or lesser performers. By its very nature, the playing field in a widely spread-out service organisation, strictly speaking, can never be truly equal and there are not yet tangible measures to evaluate the pure individual contributions of a single person to the results emanating necessarily from team play. But yet, there is no denying the fact that the award winners are definitely high performers and there is no denying the fact that leadership does make a difference to the quality of teamplay: an average team can do wonders under effective leadership; while an excellent team may turn mediocre under poor leadership. Hence, the awards are necessary to spread the right message !!]

Apart from the corporate message regarding visibility of the high performers, there is another important dimension to an ‘award’ and that is : award is basically a public recognition of your merit and hence, it sort of demands greater work with higher commitment and greater excellence ! Ordinarily, awards are expected to enthuse the winners to move to a higher orbit of performance. Check out if that is happening or not; if yes, your reward schemes are a huge success. After all, the best index of success is its longevity.

Reward

Perhaps the most crucial dimension that distinguishes reward from award is that while award is a public recognition that you get for doing something well, reward is an inner feeling of becoming by doing something well.

While awards expect or demand that the winner should move on to a higher plane, reward drives from within and automatically propels the person to a higher orbit of performance.

Nothing more apt could have been said than what Emerson observes about reward :

“The reward for a good job done is having done it well”.

Because, having done a good job, you feel a unique uplifting sense of satisfaction and inner drive for doing still better, irrespective of whether others in the gallery are watching you or not.

To some extent, awards also propel and generate inner drive for higher performance; but there is a great risk of its turning out to be transient, as it draws its sustenance from recognition from others : next time, if despite giving a dazzling performance, you do not get the award, there is a big possibility that it demotivates you more than the award motivated you the first time.

A Complete Disaster

My hubby got the most coveted Award of his Bank ( Best Regional Manager) for two years consecutively ( although it is called Best RM award, about 30 odd Regional Managers were winners of this award and for 2007-08, my hubby was positioned at number one). It is customary in our Bank to felicitate the awardees, along with their spouses to publicly acknowledge the significance of family support behind the high achievers ( that’s really sweet ! ).

On 18^th of this month, I accompanied my hubby to Mumbai for a felicitation of all the Best Regional Managers and Best Branch Managers – all with their spouses – felicitation at the hands of none other than the Chairman. It was a scintillating function organised in the garden of Chairman’s residence ( which has been awarded the Best Residential Garden of Mumbai by BMC this year).

Chairman’s speech was crisp n enlightening – which was followed by giving away of awards, photo sessions, experience sharing by some awardees. Names were called out randomly for experience sharing and our turn did not come ! To be honest, I thought my hubby would definitely get a chance to speak – I was also sort of prepared to speak a few words as a spouse – I had my thoughts gathered, for a change!

I had thought, on behalf of the spouses of the award winners, I would thank the Bank, the Chairman and the top brass for this wonderful way of honouring the top performers and making them share this credit with their other halves. I sincerely wanted to thank the Chairman for having revised the reward money substantially upward which could enable our family to go on a fabulous Europe tour last October on special LFC granted under this reward scheme.

I had thought, I would share this honour with the countless others back home in the Region and Circle, and their family members, who teamed up with my husband to deliver this splendid performance, but for which we would not have been here taking the award !

I had thought, I would compliment the award-winners and at the same time, urge them to always remember two things: firstly, that award propels and demands higher performance with greater excellence and total commitment. The onus now falls on them to prove to themselves at each step ahead that they deserved every bit of it , by doing better than their past best. Secondly, they have to remember that at the end, the reward for your perseverence is not what you get for it , but what you become by it. So award or no award, you must keep on giving your best shot, doing better than your best.

Alas… there were only thoughts ; but no action taken by me to create an opportunity for sharing my mind. I could have simply asked the organiser ( a close friend of mine) to announce my name for speaking on behalf of the spouses. I did not do that. Soon, there came the vote of thanks and then group photo session was announced. So our chances to speak on this golden occasion gone – or so I thought !!

But see the irony ! As it needed some re-arrangement to be done for the group photos, there was a sudden announcement for volunteers from the audience to sing on stage. Daughter of one of the awardees volunteered and gave a beautiful rendering. Meanwhile, the compere, who happens to be the organiser of this event and a very close friend of mine, came over and whispered to me that I was going to sing next ! I was really caught off-guard and started waving her saying “ No, No” – but she went up the dias and announced my name saying that since I am her batch-mate, she knows I sing very well and that she can take this liberty with me !!

Oh, God ! how I was feeling … too shy, gigly and wanting to strangle my friend’s neck right there !! But to keep her honour, I went up the stage, took the mike ( at the heart of my heart, I always knew till then that once I hold a mike, I can never fail in singing !) and started singing my most favourite prayer.

But I was in for the greatest shock of my life ! As I started singing, I thought my voice is trembling unduly and just after three lines, suddenly I stopped singing, giggled and said, ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ and sort of, ran away from the stage. Of course, whatever little I sang, drew a good applause and later on, lot of nice comments – likes of ‘singing so beautifully, why did not you sing fully’, ‘ have a beautiful voice – must work on it’ etc.

BUT, BUT, BUT …. The fact remains that .. ( so painful to admit ! ) I walked off the stage mid-way ; I failed to sing though I claim to be a talented singer and I failed before whom … the Chairman, the top brass, a wide cross-section of our own people – an audience before which anyone in this bank would die to showcase one’s talent !!

I failed to take a rare and golden opportunity that was given to me by my dear friend, which could have been used by me both for speaking a few words and singing : First, with the mike in my hand, I could have said what I had thought of saying, as there was no thanks-giving done by any one from the ‘spouses’ group. I could have made my short speech still peppier by adding that though it is not the rule to speak after the vote of thanks, I am taking the liberty to break the rule and thank the bank for …. blah… blah .. .

Then I could have started singing, and I am sure, after speaking for sometime, that grip on voice automatically comes and I could have really rendered the way I usually sing. [By the way, later when I heard my hubby’s mobile recording, I suddenly realised that my voice was not sounding as shaky as I thought on stage !! So, another act of foolishness out of stage fright. Actually, suddenly, I went blank and forgot the next line.)

So.. it was a complete disaster; complete in every sense because what I did amounts to snatching a defeat out of the jaws of victory and none other than me was responsible for this failure to seize a golden opportunity !! It is awful to admit this in this public medium; but perhaps that is the first thing that I need to do as penance. What went wrong with me … despite having my thoughts gathered for the short speech, despite getting a request to sing ( I did not have to volunteer or beg for a chance ), despite getting a platform with a high profile audience that included Chairman , MDs, DMDs etc. and their spouses ???

No, it was not stage fright. It was not lack of practice either, although I did not have scope to practice for about a week before that. It was not even because I was not expecting a request for singing.

When I analyse now, post-facto, in a detached and honest manner, I see the reason in my habit of saying “ No, No” to singing whenever I am asked to !! This has become a strange second nature to me, when it comes to singing before anyone on request. The same kind of absurd shyness grips me even at this age, as it used to, when I was a child !! There is no rationale for it, no justification for it !! It is only when I decide to sing in advance that I find myself able to sing comfortably. I realise, this is becoming a self-limiting, almost reflexive behaviour on my part and it is high time, I get out of this ….making very conscious effort. Otherwise, how do I go about my already proclaimed goal of pursuing singing after I left my job???

Truly,

“The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live.”

- Norman Cousins

And I sincerely do not want this tragedy to happen to me . So, I promise myself that as a penance, now I will take or create opportunity to sing the same prayer in full before at least 10 audiences in coming one year !!

So, that’s it !! I just felt like sharing this story of my complete failure. I think, it may resonate with you if you are also finding opportunities passing by without you being consciously aware that it is of your own making. Do some soul-searching and change what is needed to be changed within. Are you wondering what is the relationship between award/reward and disaster ?

Well, award and reward come after success; failure or disaster comes before success . Then there goes the saying : failure is the pillar of success . Take both the hypotheses together and you get some sequence like : failure, success, reward, award …..

So let me start now … afresh, my recent complete disaster notwithstanding !!!!

[ And friends, be ready to play me the audience and help me fulfill my self-target, which was carrying another zero originally, but got struck off while typing and I knew, that was the right thing to have happened. Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha ! )

Pause and Ponder sl 4 : Beyond Fear, there is Freedom .

Pause and Ponder sl. No 4 : BEYOND FEAR, THERE IS FREEDOM

“ It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. ”

- Seneca

What a profound wisdom in simple words !!

[Actually, at times, I feel straight-talk advices like “ Be courageous”, “ Be adventurous”, “ Be fearless” etc. sound a little threatening and more than inspiring one to overcome fear, they tend to instill more of self-doubt ( thoughts like am I able enough to do all these ? ) because somewhere they seem to advocate more than ordinary guts. But when we think in terms of what Seneca says, it ultimately means the same thing – have more than ordinary guts – but it makes us feel this in a more comforting and re-assuring manner – it makes us feel that it is actually okay to fear a bit, but it is worth taking leap despite the fear; it makes us believe that, though something looks difficult before we start, once we start, it will turn out to be not as difficult as we thought and so just start ! It actually inspires you and helps you actually dare !!! ]

It is observed – too often, that we contemplate doing many things that we feel are worth doing; but somehow the worries of difficulties that may come our way, the fear of failure, the fear of ridicule, the fear of rejection, the fear of persecution etc. get better of us and we fail to muster up that little grain of courage to take the first step. But if we consciously and continuously fill our mind with simple, yet powerful thoughts like what Seneca said, soon it can become a way of life with us to dare…

be it a small adventure like learning a new skill that you think you are not naturally wired for( e.g. I learning how to drive a car on road etc.) or doing something you are scared of ( like bunji jumping/ I donating blood etc.)

or a big adventure like climbing a mountain, or rafting , or doing stunts, going to space , or public speaking etc.

or a tall adventure like carrying disparate groups along to deliver a common goal or having your way in negotiation with strong opponents, or out-performing the market without compromising ethics in business etc.

or a great adventure like retaining your freedom of mind in the face of all bondages, standing up against injustice in any form, serving the sick and the suffering, inspiring others by own examples, challenging the conservative wisdom to invent/innovate/discover something new and creative, getting political freedom for your country from centuries of foreign subjugation etc.

But one thing is common in all this : a mindset that runs towards , and not away from what the mind fears !! It is a mindset that dares and you dare when you

D….. feel an intense Desire to pursue something worthy, though difficult

A …. believe that you have the Ability to do this, if required by acquiring the new skills,

by pooling others having the needed skill

R…… take Risk by actually taking action needed for the pursuit

E….. keep Evaluating mid-course for course-corrections, if needed and act

accordingly

Personally, I draw tremendous inspiration from this quote of Seneca and there have been several trying situations in my life – both personal and professional, small and big, when these few words have helped me discover the ‘courageous I ’ within myself and as I look back… I feel simply splendid about it that I have always been able to look into my eyes in the mirror - not because I have achieved anything ‘great’ or ‘grand’ or ‘ historic’ or something that can make the world bow down in admiration. No, what makes me so joyous is that I see in the mirror a pair of eyes, that have always sparkled with a child-like twinkle of daring when faced with fear at very many moments of life! And also the fact that this is a pair of eyes that never had a reason to droop in shame for not having tried something worthy, but difficult.

And there is another beauty in daring: you will never find yourself alone once you dare on a just and worthy course; there will be helping hand(s) sent from Above !!

[ Photo credit : SBI Calendar for 2009 ]

Earlier I had narrated a few of my small encounters with fear in my posts on this blog on 12^th Apr, 2008 and 5^th August, 2008, which do not appear to have been widely read and so I am just reproducing here below to save my friends the pain ( !!) of clicking on the links. These may be of interest to go through in the context of the present post.

12/04/08

A few days back , I stumbled upon an interesting article by Steve – Whatever you fear, Face it . I agree 101% with what he suggests. Yeah .. if we fear something, we must face it and that is perhaps courage in the real sense. Courage is not the absence of fear - it is doing something worthwhile despite fear . And what u experience and gain in the process in terms of pure happiness that comes out of conquering fear & personal inner growth is a treasure, that eludes all those who keep to their safety zones and spend a lifetime without living a moment !

When I started my Blog ( gosh ! last year – and let it remain without any post for almost a year !!) – my wish was to paint different strokes !! At the moment, time apparently is a big constraint. I said apparently – as I find, for one year I just started the blog and did nothing – then since last one month, I am somehow making this time at least once a week to scribble something, now that I want it. Perhaps, that is the secret - really wanting to do something intensely . That is perhaps also the key to mustering up courage – to stand by yourself - to face the fear – the fear of uncertainties – the fear of failure – the fear of being ridiculed - the fear of what the world would think … etc.

Well I know I am basically a courageous person - have displayed it umpteen no. of times as I know it myself – and I know many others also acknowledge that ( ha, Ha ). But , good lord … , when it comes to pursuing my life goals ( now that I have finally spelt these out clearly before my self at least ), I find myself still dilly dallying . Clearly , that right amount of courage to switch course at this juncture of life perhaps is missing as yet !

Let me spell out my goals here – so that I will feel more responsible and be under more self-pressure to muster up what it takes to pursue them !

a) Use my God-gifted singing talent –for my own satisfaction and for giving something back to this world . I don’t know how much daring it will be to dare dream becoming a professional singer at this age – that too without learning music . But surely, God has blessed me with abundant talent to use it for charity shows.

b) Get associated with some orphanage/children’s home etc – do some charity plus “Shramdaan” ( i.e actually spend time with them and do things for them etc. ) .

c) Start writing ( feels a bit nice that at least there has been a beginning towards this goal …)

d) Popularise Oriya cuisine – there are so varied and tasty and healthy and typical dishes we cook , which are yet to be commonly known as, say the southy dishes or north delicacies or Bengali dishes . Let there be Oriya Thali concept – like Gujju Thali – and I m sure, many would love the taste and the combination .

Coming back to Courage - Courage is shedding fear and also shedding the habit of not shedding many things !

05/08/2008

Courage is shedding fear .

I would always cherish the 25^th June of 2008 – a great & memorable day for ME !! Yeah - I conquered fear and did something for the first time which I had been wanting to do whole my life so far .. DONATED BLOOD .

Oh, sounds so trivial - s..o..o many people do that .. that too, time and again. What’s so great about it when it comes to me ? Nothing actually – nothing great about the act per se – only when I look at it in my context ( I simply can not stand sight of blood or needle entering into flesh ( Yup!!) & do not laugh – I close my eyes even when a bloody scene comes on screen !!!) - then I feel this sense of satisfaction that, yeah , I have done it – notwithstanding that great urge to run away from the bed when I had to keep on pumping myself and some sinking feeling was overpowering me after a minute or so & the process was to take another 3 /4 minutes. And I actually had a little bit of black-out after it – felt really embarrassed to hog all the attention-both from the doctor and colleagues, who had themselves given blood minutes back and were cheerfully going around in an absolutely normal condition . Well, that was really making me feel bad – but had no control. Actually, earlier also I had similar experience of sinking after giving blood for test during first pregnancy – may be, psychological because of my fear.

Coming back to point – when I look back to find out how I could actually do this, a few things come out sharply :

a. an intense desire to do . ( Honestly, I always think blood donation to be one of the noblest acts – basically u r giving life to a needy in due course . So always wanted to do something of value going beyond self .)

b. taking opportunity of doing when the circumstances give a chance. (Earlier, apart from the fear, either the timing, or the venue, or the organisers .. or perhaps the lack of intensity of desire.., something or other was coming in the way of my participating in any blood donation camp. This time, it was being organised in my office premises, by our office to celebrate our foundation day and was being organised in a professional manner with the help of doctors and disposable syringes. In my current assignment, it was possible to come down and participate, sparing an hour or so .

c. Actually throwing yourself first into the situation before your fear takes better of u . (Yeah, this time I just made up my mind, came down to the venue . Then, although I did have the impulse of running away , I did not do that as I could not have shown my weakness before my colleagues – u see, each of us do face many occasions in life when we just have to live upto a reputation . Ha, ha . So I knew , once I go to the venue , I will somehow manage to participate and that actually happenned .

d. The feeling after conquering fear is just splendid – charging u with greater vitality and greater happiness !

Thank GOD for helping me feel good about myself .

Same night, I could also be of help to a colleague, who would have otherwise missed his train. It was really raining hard when I was leaving office and here was this person, standing and worried about how he would make it to the train, that was to leave just about 20 minutes from then. There was no auto in sight also. I offered to drop him at his hotel, which is near to the Rly station . I am usually very scared about driving when it is pouring, that too at night – due to very poor visibility. Number two – I would not normally venture to drive to an unknown place in such inclement weather . But I did it – and am happy that I did it .

By the way, last year , I decided to drive my car personally – and, for me , this was a very bold ( read courageous ) decision. My husband & daughters were scared visibly – had no trust in my ability to drive a car . Not their fault – my track record of road alertness, sense of (geographical) direction, route awareness etc. was extremely poor. I agree with them and appreciated that they love me and were concerned about my safety – as also safety of others. But what I never liked about it was the hidden message that I CAN NOT drive . That was not acceptable . When the whole world is able to drive, why can not I ? Nevertheless, I restrained myself in view of my job pressure, erratic timings and requirement of the vehicle by my daughters for various purposes during the day. So continued with dependance on hired drivers till my daughters finished with their classes here, although it was taking a heavy toll on me ( & my car … one would shudder to look at the dents and damages that my poor car had to bear all the time ! I was so disgusted with repeated touch-ups that finally just left it with all the dents & scratches . In fact, that gave my car such a distinct identity ( ha, ha) that all my people at office always recognised my car effortlessly .) . Once my children finished with their exams, I decided to take over .

I acknowledged two things –

(i) I am not naturally wired to be a driver & do have some weaknesses which could spell hazard on road;

(ii) but at the same time , it is possible to learn driving and fix those weaknesses to an extent, required for safe driving.

So, I decided to learn and immediately called up a driving school. Timings were very difficult for me – very early in the morning and in evenings, I had to go from office for night driving & come back to office again. I can still recollect the first time I had to drive on a busy road – all alone without the trainer by my side - so..o scary ! How relieved I felt after parking at the office ! While returning, it really took strong will power not to accede to everyone’s request to make the office driver sit beside while I drove back home. Of course, for two days, one of my colleagues followed me separately, while I drove back home .

So , this was also a story of victory of courage over fear – and the basic tenets of the approach are the same in every such story :

– acknowledge what is required to be done ,

– acknowledge if you fear doing that,

– believe that it is possible to learn higher skills in the domain of what you fear , and once you learn the skills, you will be better placed to face your fear ;

– collect information, gather knowledge and learn skills required in the field .

– Act - do what you wanted to, in spite of fear. Success will be only a matter of time.

I am sure, everyone’s life is full of such moments, when, inspite of fear, we take action, because it is worth it and in the process, grow stronger and wiser. I am reminded of what Ralph Waldo Emerson once said,

“ When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”

Courage is shedding the habit of not shedding many things

Yes, one of the things that we normally do not think of shedding is a secure job !!

Well, I am not talking about today’s youngsters – who are job-hopping rather a little too frequently. They belong to another world with a different canvass as context. I am referring to our generation – the 40/45 plus, who usually relish the comfort of being settled down and somewhere along the line, tend to lose the appetite for venturing into an uncertain world to chase their life-goals.

I do not say that to be courageous, u must shed ( leave) a secure job, just for the heck of it . No, it is definitely not to suggest recklessness. The point that I would like to make is that there is a tendency among many of us just to keep on clutching to the current job, even if it is no longer giving u that kick and u are already in a position, where u can afford to take a call on other opportunities beckoning u or just to chase your dreams. Here comes, what I would call courage, courage to quit. Newer beginnings are possible only if we are ready to change the status quo – ready to come out of inertia. Yes, do a thorough analysis of your own situation to ensure that u have already put in place a fall back system to take care of your personal responsibilities (like self-sustenance / family responsibilities, which just can not be compromised) before u quit the known and start exploring the uncertain. Once u achieve this position, then all that u require for chasing your dreams is a drive to spread your wings with courage to soar against the wind, if that be so !!

By the way – right now I am also on my way to explore the uncertain – the first step already taken – quitting a secure job. Yeah – my fall back system for financial needs is ready. Feeling a little scared.. but excited . Isn’t that what courage ultimately is ? I am tempted to quote a few great personalities, from whose words, I have always drawn inspiration .

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain

Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne

Courageous people are still afraid, but they don't let the fear paralyze them.

- Steve pavlina

Education for Earning Vrs Education for Service

01/04/2009

Education for Earning Vrs Education for Service

“Reform Orissa from Within”. “ Reform our country, our society, from within the system.”

Those are the words of Dr Kiran Bedi and she needs no introduction ! These words would have sounded hollow and hackneyed to me, had they come from any of the many mouths we know who utter such preachings, but do a precious little in their own lives!

Well, before I proceed, I need to give a brief introduction to the context.

Today will always remain a golden day for me.

Well, not because today happens to be the Utkal Divas ( the foundation day of the independent state of Orissa, my homeland), although that is good enough a reason to feel jovial about;

neither for the reason that today happens to be The All Fools’ Day ( although, by implication that makes the day dedicated to the kind of me – the ‘fools’ – the more you know, the more you come to realise how little you actually know !!).

It is because today I got to hear Dr Kiran Bedi in person !! Saw an ad in a newspaper this morning that she would be delivering a talk at KIIT University here on the topic “ Role of Women in the present scenario” and all are invited. My joy knew no bounds. It is a topic title that I find one of the most hackneyed, boring and useless topics. At times, it actually angers me – would anybody ever think of a topic, say, the role of men in the present scenario ? Anyway, the point of attraction was Dr Kiran Bedi , and not the topic. So, I rushed through my chores and actually arrived at the venue by 11.30 am. ( I said, actually, because, on some occasions earlier, I had felt like attending certain events like this – celebrities delivering talks or participating in symposiums, but finally did not – may be because those speakers never really drew me so strongly !! )

I have always held Dr Kiran Bedi in very high esteem ( and so do the people at large ) for the unwavering courage she has actually demonstrated by always walking her talk as an IPS officer ( the first lady IPS officer of India joined in 1972) PLUS the way she has made a difference through whichever assignment she has handled during her service career – be it reforms in Tihar jail, or traffic in New Delhi, or … or… . her contributions as a member on the Advisory Board to UN on peace etc… She has received a number of awards n public acclaims – Raman Magsaysay Award and many more. All along, it has been a war on injustice and she made her point once more, when she resigned from service when she thought she had been meted out injustice in her professional career. But what is significant to note is that even after resigning from service, she is engaged in doing a host of social service activities AND SHE CONTINUES TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE !!!

KIIT is one of the reputed technical institutes in the private sector in Orissa which has shot up to fame and ranking in the top slot among such institutes within a very short period – thanks to the visionary leadership of its founder, supported by an able team, of course.

Dr Bedi was invited by them for this talk and interaction.

Different as always, the moment she took to the mike, she declared that she is not in the habit of preparing a speech, and she always tries to ‘know’ and ‘feel’ her audience first and then decides what to speak and share. Here too, she said, she would share what she felt when she was getting to know about the institute during the last 2 hours of visit through the campus. Very candidly and without offense, she virtually dissmissed the topic ( the role of women in the present scenario), observing that once the women are educated, as they are today, they belong to the group of “educated” and share the same responsibilities towards the society and governance as the men. I was so glad – she did not disappoint me. Over the next one hour, she kept the audience spell-bound with her very forthright points, lively posture, humour and style of connecting to the audience !

In quintessence, the point she made is : Education must instill the values – especially courage, that would prompt the educated to serve and make a difference to the social fabric, to the people’s lives , to the nation. Let me narrate a bit of what and how she said it ( I can not quote her exactly within quote-unquote, because I was just a listener; so have tried to express what she said mostly in her words , added by mine to keep the essence in tact. )

Orissa is so rich in natural resources. But why is it lagging so behind in terms of economic progress for the people ? What is coming in between ?? Corruption and poor governance ! It is true for all other states in India . Corruption comes in the way of our progress, everyone knows that. But who is doing the corruption ? The literates or Illiterates ? The poor villagers or the rich urbanites ? The Educated or the Uneducated ? Who are at the helm of affairs everywhere – the educated or the uneducated ? At the end of the day, it is the educated who are responsible for corruption – for all the failings. So long as the bureaucracy is pliant, the corrupt politicians get their way. It is we, the educated, who get educated to earn only, not to serve and that is the chief culprit. We can make a difference, if we commit to service as the motto behind joining civil service or bureaucracy or all other white collar jobs. So long as that does not happen, reputed institutes will only go on adding to the bulk of educated corrupt and getting ranked at a high slot among the reputed institutes will have no real worth or meaning. Although she complimented the institute on its being ranked among the top-notch institutes of the country, she observed without any pretension that the parameters for ranking the reputed institutes should include one more parameter and that is : student-tracking , i.e. .what are the students who passed out of this institute doing currently and how exactly they have made a difference or served the humankind ?

She advised ( dared ! ) the Institute founder to act on this aspect by taking extra classes to build a special cadre of students who would like to go into services/bureaucracy with a motive to serve , not just to earn for themselves at any cost. Imbibe the values in the students that education is supposed to instill before they go out into careers. She was candid enough to say, if in 5 years from now, KIIT ians do not make any difference to Orissa and her people, there is no point in adding more number to the corrupt educated !! She said in a classic stroke of humour : “ Please call me again after 5 years ! ”

So, that’s it ! My day was certainly made. There was no time for answering audience queries. However, the only question that could come within the available time was regarding what to do as a voter when all the nominees fielded for election are corrupt or not worth getting voted. She explained that as a voter, each has ‘a right to no vote’ as per the Representation of People’s Act “. In such a situation ( which, indeed , is a situation now a days) , a voter should ask the Presiding Officer of the Vote booth to give her/him the specific form meant to record “no vote” with disclosure of your identity, of course. That will make public how many voters have totally rejected the entire lot of candidates fielded by various political parties and strong messages can be passed on..

[I am sure, that would be a grand revelation and the statistics can be of multiple use to awaken the people at large / political parties, or may even lead to further constitutional amendments, facilitating better candidates to choose from.]

All the while, I could not miss her politeness while taking courtesies extended or praises showered on her. A standing ovation, she deserved and she got !

Thank you Dr Bedi. After listening to you, I felt it my bounded duty to do whatever I can to spread this message, in which I, too, personally believe. Since I have a blog , I thought I should at least blog about it, so that your words of courage get spread and impact at least a few souls.

A silver lining in the darkest cloud

A silver lining in the darkest cloud

Recently, some alert message on the road-dividers in my city caught my attention. It says :

“ Speed thrills, but kills .”

Nice way to keep reminding those trying to soar high while sitting on the steering wheel ! Although it is a common knowledge that excessive speed could be dangerous, such constant reminders are required, coz. speed thrills and one tends to get addicted to it. It takes a lot within to resist thrills before it becomes an addiction. Another question came to my mind : does any driver ever see these alerts while driving ? I doubt ! In fact, I also saw this only when I was walking down to the stadium for my morning walk.

So, the points are:

a. Most of the times, common knowledge is very uncommon, in the sense that everybody knows it, but does not internalise - believing that the prophecy, especially if it is bad, will somehow never come true for him/her. (S)he can get away !!

b. Unless a fellow has high self-discipline with internalised values and ethics, one tends to chase thrills one after another, and ultimately loses control. Consequences ? Anybody’s guess !

Reminded me of the recently uncovered Satyam fraud here in my own country ! And the Madoff fraud in US !

On the 12^th of March, 2009, Bernard Madoff ( an American businessman and former Chairman of NASDAQ stock exchange - the man, by now world -(in)famous for the largest investor fraud ever committed by a single person involving fabricated gains of about US $ 65 billion), pled guilty and admitted to defrauding thousands of investors through a massive Ponzi scheme, “a big lie” as he puts it.

In his court statement he confessed to what he did and how he did it and how he got away with it .

Here is an excerpt from his court statement,as published in the media, that caught my attention like never before and really got me thinking:

“ To the best of my recollection, my fraud began in the early 1990s. At that time, the country was in a recession and this posed a problem for investments in securities markets. Nevertheless, I had received investment commitments from certain institutional clients and understood that these clients , like all professional investors, expected to see their investments out-perform the market. While I never promised a specific rate of return to any client, I felt compelled to satisfy my clients’ expectations at any cost. I, therefore, claimed that I employed an investment strategy I had developed, called a “split strike conversion strategy”, to falsely give appearance to clients that I have achieved the results I believed they expected.”

Madoff stated that he wanted to satisfy the expectations of high returns by his clients in spite of economic recession. He admitted that he had never invested any of his clients’ money since the inception of the scheme. Instead, he simply deposited the money into his business account at Chase Manhattan Bank. He admitted to false trading activities masked by foreign transfers and false SEC returns. He used the Chase Manhattan Bank account to pay clients who requested withdrawals, claiming the “profits” were the results of his own unique “split strike conversion strategy”. He declared that he had every intention of resuming legitimate activities in his asset management division, but it proved “difficult, and ultimately impossible” to catch up to the paper profits. ( Sounds familiar ?? Only recently B. Ramalinga Raju of Satyam had also stated his intentions in a similar vein – the essence of which is : keep fooling the gullible lot with false results, siphon funds elsewhere, make good the losses when an opportune time comes before it is about to get uncovered and do something legitimate to convert the paper profits to actual profit. )

How can they forget that they can never escape their day of reckoning ultimately !!!

Now, read the excerpt again … and highlight whatever you feel is crucial to note. I am reproducing the excerpt with parts, which hit me the hardest, highlighted:

“ To the best of my recollection, my fraud began in the early 1990s. At that time, the country was in a recession and this posed a problem for investments in securities markets. Nevertheless, I had received investment commitments from certain institutional clients and understood that these clients, like all professional investors, expected to see their investments out-perform the market. While I never promised a specific rate of return to any client, I felt compelled to satisfy my clients’ expectations at any cost. I, therefore, claimed that I employed an investment strategy I had developed, called a “split strike conversion strategy”, to falsely give appearance to clients that I have achieved the results I believed they expected.”

I felt compelled to satisfy my clients’ expectations at any cost. This one sentence perhaps says it all !! And if we as a people can take our lessons from this one sentence, I think I will call that the silver lining in the darkest cloud. YES !!

Analyse this way:

He felt compelled - that is not the same thing as he was compelled . He was perhaps not compelled by anyone, but still he felt that compulsion because of what he thought his clients expected from him .. ( refer back to the excerpt…. and understood that these clients, like all professional investors, expected to see their investments out-perform the market .)

And what did he think his clients’ expectations were ? To have returns much higher than the market normally churns out !!! ( The why to this question is the most significant dimension that this whole episode throws up for reflection – I will come back to that, after I complete dissecting this one highlighted statement of Madoff. )

And what did he feel compelled about ? To satisfy his clients’ expectations at any cost. In any business, feeling compelled to satisfy the clients’expectations is perhaps the most needed driving force to stay in business and get ahead of competition – in fact so far so good . But at any cost ??????? The problem actually starts here and can end here if you believe in doing good business and delivering high returns going out-of-box for efficiency and innovation, and NOT for unethical practices, i.e. business at any cost. He created all this mess because he played his game , at any cost – took to fraudulent ways and showed fake results to please the investors despite the recession.

Now, coming to “ why”s .

Why he thought what he thought ?

And why he got away for such long years until he, himself realised that it is impossible to carry on with the fraud any longer and surrendered through his own sons ?

Yes, blame it on competition, but the reality is : there is a catch on both sides – the businessmen as well as the clients. If Madoff thought that his investors expected him to out-perform the market ( i.e. to deliver dazzling results, not commensurate with those possible through running reasonable n good ( read ethical ) business in the market ), then he is not entirely to blame. The majority in the business world in today’s dog-eat-dog competition feel this kind of client pressure. Competition has somehow become synonymous with reckless speed – speed in business, speed in delivery, speed in growth in volume of business, speed in growth in return/profit – the greater the speed at which you move to capture the market, the greater the thrill, the greater the market rewards you !! And who to blame ??

A good share of the blame, in my view, should go to all of us .

We as investors/capital providers/customers/consumers/ the beneficiary at the other end have started demanding miraculous results till we have alternative shops – all in the name of competition. We have got into a habit of a dialogue like this : Okay, if you can not give me enough, there are many others. We get excited when we receive very high returns on money invested/spent and never bother asto how it became possible for such miraculous results to happen!

[For example: How many potential customers for loans ask questions about the financier’s asset-liability management and net margin if they are offered a ridiculously low rate of interest on loans vis-à-vis higher interest rate on deposits? ]

It seems concerns about Madoff’s business had surfaced as early as in 1999, when Harry Markopolos, a financial analyst, informed the SEC that he felt that it was legally and mathematically impossible to achieve the gains Madoff claimed to deliver. Did anybody listen to that ?? Not until very recently in December, 2008, when the present global financial crisis created a rising demand for cash withdrawals by Madoff’s investors and he knew, he can not carry on with his fraud any longer! Obviously, had Markopolos’ whistleblowing caught the attention of the authorities and the till-then happy investors getting very high returns, so much more loss to thousands of clients could have been averted !

So, it is greed, greed and greed on part of both sides – stakeholders concerned only with high returns and businessmen to stay in business by satisfying stakeholders’ expectation at any cost . The age-old chicken n egg syndrome !!

This push by client expectations in a competitive marketplace is good only so long as it leads to qualitative improvements or innovations. But what happens when this ( satisfying client expectations at any cost ) is (mis)taken by the businessman as the sole survival strategy? It starts allowing space to deceit, game-playing, scheming, misrepresentation of facts, figure fudging, fabricated gains, fake results and mind-boggling frauds !! The jet-set speed of their own creation ( read, manipulations) creates such a need for more and more speed ( read, further manipulations) just to stay on course that eventually, it becomes unsustainable and crashes !! Yes, speed thrills, but kills.

The saddest part is : it is not one Satyam or one Madoff - there are many in their family, including corporates, who can not plead all clean when it comes to accounting and fact-sheets! So far as corporates are concerned, apart from market competition, other dynamics relating to trade-off between the short-term and long-term, reward, recognition, financial incentives, career progression etc. come into play and make the leadership as well as ranks within to “project” market-expected performance. Who knows when what will assume which proportion ?? As someone said, truth is only a resting point until the next revelation!!

But how can I not see the silver lining in the darkest cloud ?

Courtesy these filthy episodes, a fresh wave of awakening has dawned upon the entire world.

Let us stop being greedy and irrational when it comes to our expectations about our own gains as investors or consumers or other stakeholders !

Let us demand more transparency and probity in affairs of the business world!

Let us listen to alarms bells; let us ring alarm bells !

Let us start questioning !

Knowingly, let us not be a party to a foul game !!

Let us stay away from the seven sins , as described by Gandhiji as under :

Seven sins

Politics without Principles;

Wealth without Work;

Pleasure without Conscience;

Knowledge without Character;

Commerce without Morality ;

Science without Humanity;

Worship without Sacrifice .

- Gandhiji

[ I think, if these stinking episodes can remind all of us, the world over, to reflect and drive us to act in a zone, free of the seven sins, that would be much more than just a silver lining in the darkest cloud, I swear !!!! ]

H..O..P..E..

HOPE

A 19yr old asked an 11 yr old : “ What is your goal in life ? ”

Pat came the reply from the latter, a cute smart boy : “ Oh ! to get admission into IIT .”

[ For those, who do not know what IIT stands for – it is Indian Institute of Technology – there are only a few of them and they are like the Jewels in the Crown of Mother India. It is believed that once you gain entry into an IIT somehow, your life is made (true if one goes by professional success the IITians have actually achieved from day one both nationally and internationally). It is the loftiest dream of most of the parents to have their kid in IIT and most of them have also seen to it that their child also sees the same dream ( alas !!). Children need to be exceptionally ‘bright’ in academics, scoring incredibly high in the qualifying exam( + 2) AND passing a really tough special Entrance Test to get into IITs, for which they start taking extremely rigorous coaching ( I really wonder, when these kids get to breathe… literally ? Class, coaching for usual course of 10^th/12^th, plus special coaching - I call it going through torture of the nth degree when you transcend all feelings and stop feeling the torture itself !! ]

So, back to the interesting conversation. The boy says that it is his goal to get into IIT . I just happened to be around there. The 19 yr old girl whispered to me : “ See!, how pathetic ! I asked him what is his “goal in life ”– that is, what would he like to become in life and he says getting into IIT. Is getting into IIT a goal in itself ? At the least, he could have said that he wants to become an Engineer ! How sad – parents these days are to blame – they only drill all this crap deep into the young minds – so deep that the children can not think clearly for themselves and just fall in line with the fad of the day !!” Incidentally, this girl is amongst those courageous few who have found their own calling on their own .

Well… I could not have agreed more on that. It is truly sad how the kids these days in our part of the world are being led to believe that “ the be all and end all ” of their lives is to gain admission into reputed institutes like IITs/ NITs/IIMs etc., understandably because gaining entry into these institutes would facilitate achieving their goal of becoming an engineer or management professional of top order. But the pity is, in their blind pursuit of joining the race, people fail to realise when some facilitating factor( getting admission to an Inst.) is turning into the goal itself ( becoming an engineer – although, I do not consider becoming an engineer can be anyone’s true goal in life ), thereby limiting all other wide possibilities of “ becoming” in life !! Very few are there who display the courage and true understanding as parents to encourage their kids to dance to a different drummer, if that be so required – to let the child discover her own true calling – to allow the child to decide if she would become just another face in the crowd or a face in the crowd !

Yes, I, too, felt sad to hear what the 11 yr old said. BUT … Guess what ! The next moment, I was inundated with a surge of happiness.

Hey, everything is not yet lost . There is still a lot of HOPE for this world of ours . Just think of what the 19 yr old remarked – how the 19yr old “thought” !!

Yes, if the 19 yr old could think with so much of clarity on “goal”, the difference between “ getting into IIT” and “ becoming an Engineer ” ; if the youth of her generation has started thinking with such discernment and meaningful insight, I am sure, in due course, these thinking minds will eventually know the difference between :

“ becoming an Engineer” and “ being able to Construct a Bridge ”

“ Constructing a Bridge” and “ being able to Connect geographical places”

“Connecting geographical places” and “being able to Connect people across geographical separation”

“ Connecting people and “being able to connect the hearts, minds and souls ”

It all boils down to knowing “what your goal is” and “ why you want that as your goal” (i.e. your ultimate purpose in life );

- above all, knowing the difference between the ecstacy of getting to the destination/goal ( connecting hearts, minds and souls )Vrs the joys n wonders of the journey itself ( getting into an IIT, becoming an Engineer, getting a fulfilling job, delivering value through projects and assignments that touch people’s lives !)

A lot of hope there , I swear ! Honestly, when we were 19 yrs old , we were never thoughtful and wise enough as today’s 19 yr olds !

Notwithstanding the negatives today, tomorrow will be really brighter and dazzling , and that’s what I truly believe.

LET HOPE permeate every life on this beautiful planet that we all live on !

Happiness

Optimism

Passion

Exploration

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